yet again...

What is it with me? Am I cursed? I am cursed. That is all I can figure. I just met another young lady today...seemed nice talked for a while...then she tells me she sees dead people on top of being a magnet for the paranormal. She is also an amateur ghost hunter. Good Lord this makes 2 of these in the past 3 months. Add this to the witch and I am beginning to think I am a magnet myself.

Overheard in the lab this morning...

There are a lot of chinese grad students that mill around the hallway outside of my lab and office. Today I heard a disturbing conversation between one of them and their american lab tech.
It went something like this:

Grad student (GS): So is there anywhere here that people eat cat?
Lab tech (LT): I don't think so.
GS: Is it illegal to eat cat?
LT: No I think it is legal, just not popular. Besides cats are kinda small, not much meat on them.
GS: Hmm...Chinese also like rabbit. Do you like rabbit?
LT: I don't think I have tried it...

Brightened my day howabout yours?

Official Halloween Garb...

Well, unfortunately due to problems locating proper costume material I will be unable to recreate the much loved Lloyd Dobbler. As heartbroken as I am I know the ladies out there are even moreso (lets face it the ladies love Lloyd!!). Fortunately, after the first week of not being able to turn up the right style of trenchcoat nor white Nikes with the orange swoop I devised an alternative plan. This year for Halloween I will be...Drum roll please.....

The Star Wars Geek!!!

Yes, I will be the nerdy guy with thick glasses that is 25 and still lives in his parents basement playing Star Wars role playing games with my best friend since elementary school as well as the "lame" kids from the neighborhood. For a visual think Napoleon Dynamite dressed as a dark jedi! A 20th level dark jedi with force choke and force lightning ability!!! I mean, gah, don't be such an idiot of course as a dark jedi master I can use force choke and force lightning!! I will also have my trusty lightsaber with 2 different kinds of power crystals.

Frightening Non?

More Evidence of the Phipps Effect

Well this weekend was an interesting one to say the least...

I had a date on Sunday.
The date was with a witch.
A pushy witch.
Why God?

I have to say this was a new one for me. I have dated bitches, but never witches. Well until yesterday anyways. The really sad part to all of this is even though I really was terrified by this whole thing and really didnt want to see her again I think she blew me off.

needed to get this out

Normally for my blog I like to find some stupid little tidbit or piece of political drivel and harp on it in as humorous way as possible. Today though I just want to tell everyone about a friend of mine. He is a Sgt. in the National Guard 278th ACR, and will be shipping out for Iraq in a few short weeks. He is one of 3 of my friends that are either currently in training or are about to be deployed (I am not ommitting them, I plan to talk about both in the upcoming weeks). I have to admit the thought of not seeing my buddy for a year or more tears me up. I would give anything if I could change places with him so he could stay at home with his wife and daughter, but I suppose we all have out path set out for each of us in different directions. Anyway, I guess the point of this is to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you Mark (Todd and Christian as well), come home safe.

Oh yeah, remember winning hearts and minds isn't all that hard...It's getting their owners to hold still long enough to get them out that's the real bitch!!!

Being Anit-Bush Sparks Outrage!!!

From across the pond it seems those kooky brits are at it again...

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- A pro-Kerry letter-writing campaign by Britain's left-leaning Guardian newspaper, targeting undecided U.S. voters, has provoked outrage across the Atlantic.

The paper has encouraged its readers to express their opinions on the November 2 presidential election to voters in the key swing state of Ohio -- to the fury of Clark county.

The response from Americans?

"Hey England, Scotland and Wales, mind your own business. We don't need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidential election," was one of the e-mail reactions to the campaign.

Good show old man. Good show.

Why does the rest of the world think we are turning into a society of barely literate neandertals?

correct me if I'm wrong

So I was watching the news the other day, and one of the reporters was giving an account of the reaction from the Cheney family about the last debate. Lynne Cheney was having a hissy about the fact that Kerry had brought up the subject of her daugheter's sexuality. I believe she was upset that John Kerry had the audacity to pull her family into the political arena or something. Strange thing is I remember Dicky boy talking about how he and the president disagree on the gay marriage/civil rights thing because of his daughter's sexual preferences... Interesting...

I always knew it!!!

Ha Ha! I always knew I was being opressed by the man (just never really knew why). Finally today I have a new group that I can associate with, as reported on CNN.com.


Study: One in 100 adults asexual
LONDON, England (CNN) -- About one percent of adults have absolutely no interest in sex, according to a new study, and that distinction is becoming one of pride among many asexuals.

Thats right people, I am asexual. There I said it. I feel so relieved that its out there!!!

Wait...what the hell do they mean it has to be a disinterest in sex???? Damn.

Okay, I am part of another group who's day is coming: The unwilling asexuals!!!
Our chant shall be heard across the land: We're here, We'll buy your beer, okay maybe next time then.

O' Redux

My friend Chris Neal had this little jewel on his website today:

Fox News Channel traded accusations Wednesday with one of the producers of Bill O'Reilly's show, with the woman alleging that the commentator had phone sex with her against her wishes three times. Fox in a claim of its own dismissed the sexual harassment complaint as a politically motivated extortion attempt.

After reading the transcript of the lawsuit I had to get in on the action. I just want to say one thing, reading this was like watching a train wreck; you get kinda nauseas through most of it, but at the same time it is kinda funny...well in a sick perverted Bill O' Reilly has a vibrator in his bum kinda way...

sometimes I wonder...

Okay for the last little while I have been leaning more and more to the left, with the impending elections and all, which is why I think this bothers me so much...


LONDONDERRY, New Hampshire (AP) -- The school board has voted to ban a photo of a student from the senior section of his high school yearbook because he is posed with a shotgun.

If any of you care to look at the pic you will notice that it shows a kid in full trap and skeet shooting gear with a broken down shotgun on his shoulder. Now I could understand a problem with a picture of a kid holding up a liquor store with said shotgun...

Mother of all that is holy!!!

I couldn't resist throwing this one at ya...

NUDE BUSH!!!!

WASHINGTON - A cartoonish painting of President Bush (news - web sites) in the nude has been taken down from the wall at the City Museum of Washington. The picture, called "Man of Leisure, King George," adopts the pose of a famous Impressionist painting, Edouard Manet's "Olympia," that scandalized Paris in 1863, and now hangs in the Gare d'Orsay Museum in Paris.


The painting by local artist Kayti Didriksen, shows a caricature of Bush, reclining in the nude on a chaise lounge, his head propped up by pillows.
Instead of the female servant who stands behind Olympia's couch, a man in suit and tie resembling Vice President Dick Cheney (news - web sites) stands nearby, holding a cushion with a crown and a miniature oil rig on top of it.

After seeing this...I...will never...be the same...

Still Blogging away

For the 3 of you that read my Blog just wanted to let you all know that I am in the middle of experiments, writing my thesis, and studying to retake the GRE. All at once. This means unfortunately the frequency of my blogging is liable to slip for the next few weeks. Please bear with me.

Halloween plans!!!

Well My favorite holiday of the year is coming up...Yes, thats right halloween (I realize this makes me a godless heathen)!! This year I have a great and original (not to mention cheap) idea for a costume...The one, the only Lloyd Dobler! That's right folks the Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything! Let me know what you think!

PS Thanks to my buddy Chris for hooking me up with a Peter Gabriel album as well as possibly a trenchcoat!

Well, It's Official...

CNN.com today reported today that it has been officially announced that Iraq had no weapons of Mass Distruction, nor the capability to produce them.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Contradicting the main argument for a war that has cost more than 1,000 American lives, the top U.S. arms inspector reported Wednesday that he found no evidence that Iraq produced any weapons of mass destruction after 1991. He also concluded that Saddam Hussein's weapons capability weakened during a dozen years of U.N. sanctions before the U.S. invasion last year.

Way to go W! You lying fucktard!

My question is why did we have an impeachment hearing for Clinton over what amounted to lying about a blow job, but we tolerate Jr. pulling a stunt that has cost over 1,000 American and God only knows how many Iraqi lives?

aaarrrggghhhh

NEWS FLASH: Young Monkey King dropped like a hot potato!!! Yes folks, yet again, against all odds young Mr. Monkey King has been inexplicably dumped by a member of the opposite sex!!! Shocking? Yes. Altogether unexpected? Hell no! Given the fact that this little lass was physically attractive and SANE! Those were the reports from the scene today as told by eyewitnesses.
"It was strange really," said one woman," This girl was beautiful, had a career in mind for herself, was interested in listening to talk of research, and acted as if she may have actually enjoyed time with Mr. Monkey King!!!"
Sadly, this interest was cut short when a couple of dates were broken, phone calls were left unreturned, and questions were left unanswered. What happenned you ask? Well we have an expert opinion from one top level NASA consultant: "You see, Mr. Monkey King suffers from an as of yet unexplained phenomena that some have termed "The Phipps Effect". It seems this "Phipps Effect" is much akin to a cosmic S.N.A.F.U., in which against all logic, reason, and in some cases even violating mathematical and statistical models, situations that seem to be absolutely normal burst into the proverbial flames." He went on to state that "This recent unexplainable dumping is just the last in a long line of relationship malfunctions that have left it's victim hopelessly addicted to Xbox and porn." Unfortunately, according to another highly placed government science advisor, until more is known about this "Phipps Effect" there is little that can be done to help those who suffer from it. Stay tuned to Marker XIV for more details, as well as historical evidence for this bizzare occurrence as they become available. Until then, this is your on site reporter Insert Random Name Here, signing off...

For those of you who didn't know....

Since it is entirely possible that one person may have been hiding under a rock or in a cave last night and missed the presidential debates I took the time today to look out for you!

First, if you did miss the poitical action last night, or even if you didn't, and are still undecided here is a page that may give you a different outlook on the candidates! That's right folks who would your favorite superhero and or villain vote for and why!!!!

Second, as most of you realize, with the fight for presidency image is everything! I think the ability to view John Kerry as an albino will open your mind to that fact! Or, if you prefer, Mr. Bush...

Hate to go but duty calls...