Riddle me this...

I watched CNN this morning as they reported on the recent "insurgent" attacks in Mosul a question and a criticism came to mind.

First, when did we start referring to non-military personell who take up arms and use tactics to inspire widespread fear and panic among a populace as insurgents? Between the recent rocket attack or suicide bombing in Mosul and the attacks on Iraqi election officials it seems to me that the "insurgents" act a lot like terrorists.

Before I pose my second question/criticism readers may need a brief history refresher, so first click here, here, and here...

For those of you that didn't want to check out the links they are simply biographies of past American Presidents. Andrew Jackson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Zachary Taylor. All of which served the office with distinction, and all of which were more than simple politicians. Jackson was a veteran and a hero by the time he had taken office( Battle of New Orleans), as was Roosevelt ( Lt. Col. of the Rough Riders) and Taylor spent 40 years in military service and was credited with maintaining the Union during the early rumblings of southern cessesionists.

While listening to the report of Pres. Bush sending his condolences to the families of troops killed in the recent "insurgent" action in Mosul I felt along with sadness for those who were killed a bit of anger and disgust at our modern politicians. I am not harping on Repulicans today, nor Democrats, the President, nor Congress. My complaint is against the whole slew. It is a cry against all that would support a war without ever having known battle. Against those that would send the children, brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers to die and go to all extent to keep their own uninvolved. How many Senators or Congressmen have family that are in Iraq or Afghanistan? Why was one of the main topics of the recent Presidential election based on trying to prove which candidate actually followed their commitments to the military and which may have been lying about their service? It is a disturbing that this occurs, but perhaps even more disturbing is that we, as a nation, tolerate such behavior. Perhaps, over the last several decades we have been conditioned to accept hypocracy as a form of governing, or perhaps, we have been ground neath the heel of the political aristocracy that we feel that there is no choice, no other option than accept a group of businessmen, bankers, and war mongering cowards as our masters. Unfortunately, the truth may lie in a more mundane region than all this. Perhaps our nation as a whole has grown more apathetic, to pathalogical proportions that undermine the very definition of democracy. How can a people lead their own destiny when we barely lift our faces from the muck of tedium and our own microcosm and are only vaguely aware of the world around us. Perhaps those in offices of power are there because the new ignorant masses have bent our backs to allow their ascension. For a final ort of information to chew and roll around your mental teeth contrast this (or any of the presidential biographies for the last 30 years) with those that have been previously mentioned.

As I close this complaint I leave those of you who have read thus far with a thought from one of the great minds of our day. Not usually known for his political views Albert Einstien once said "All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field."

Good day.

Warp factor love baby!

For us that don't care about the prime directive...
lets go from warp factor 9 to warp factor love!!!

Finally folks the holidays are here! I will bee outta the lab for the next few days so I hope to catch up on the blogging, until then enjoy...

Dude! Finally some research that we need!

(Please note: heavy sarcasm ahead)

I have finally witnessed a good use for research funds! Forget AIDS, cancer, and genetic disorder research! Those guys were all yesterday's news. Now this guy has the right line of questions to ask.

Dude -- professor studies 'dude'
A linguist from the University of Pittsburgh has published a scholarly paper deconstructing and deciphering the word "dude," contending it is much more than a catchall for lazy, inarticulate surfers, skaters, slackers and teenagers.
Kiesling says in the fall edition of American Speech that the word derives its power from something he calls cool solidarity -- an effortless kinship that's not too intimate.
Cool solidarity is especially important to young men who are under social pressure to be close with other young men, but not enough to be suspected as gay.
In other words: Close, dude, but not that close.

So dude, seriously, I think we could find better uses of time and money don't you?

Its Friday

It is 10:45 on a Friday night...do you know where Jon Phipps is???
Thats right! At home writing a blog!
Well it's not like I didn't try tonight. In fact, most fellow geeks would be proud!
I went out to eat with some friends of mine, to a little place called Don Pablos...You might have heard of it? no? well thats ok. Anyway, there was this waitress you see, about 5'6" blonde hair, blue eyes, smelled of a mix of jasmine and sweet heaven...
I can say that I tried.
I really tried.
The conversation read like this; she said " Hey, you must be Jon?" (my friends had told her I was on the way there) I said "yes, yes I am! I don't think I have had the pleasure [of knowing your name]." ( yeah I know, cheese factor of like 80 but thats what I said) she smiled sweetly and replied with her name to which I came back with "beautiful name for an equally beautiful young lady" (cheese factor still climbing) she smiled and went on with her work. As the meal progressed I continued to talk to her occasionally, even noticing and commenting on her exquisite perfume. Strange that it was noticible over the mexican food, but she did talk for a bit and offered her wrist for me to smell. I thought all was lost when she actually said " yeah it's not really a perfume, its an oil...my body doesnt do well with perfume, but if I use a lot of oil it works pretty well." Long story short I was feeling pretty good until this smelly ass abercrombie and fitch frat boy reject saunters in and sits down at the table behind me. The next thing I know he is talking up the waitress and having good luck at it. Of course who am I to compete with a guy that manages to grunt out a whole sentence and chug a pint of pilsner in under a minute while forcing out said sentence.
Hell, I know I am no Brad Pitt, but I am no Clint Howard by any means. I am educated, have interesting hobbies, I even have a motorcycle. Unfortunately, for me I suppose I don't go thru the A&F catalog and pick out my preppy/grunge look. Nor do I have the "Look at me I can talk and drink at the same time!" ability. Instead I sit here writing a blog that falls on deaf ears... A cry of futility echoed everywhere...

Hail Our Robot Masters!!!

The next thing I expect is a knock at the door and a big Austrian guy to say "Are you Sara Connor?"
ORLANDO, Florida -- Hunting for guerillas, handling roadside bombs, crawling across the caves and crumbling towns of Afghanistan and Iraq -- all of that was just a start. Now, the Army is prepping its squad of robotic vehicles for a new set of assignments. And this time, they'll be carrying guns

My only question is where can I get a few of these? I have always wanted an evil empire policed by the cold metallic tread of autonamatons!! Or zombies...I would settle for an army of them...or maybe winged ferrets! With lasers!

Thanxgiving

Hey folks welcome back from the slaughtering and consumption of the great turkey beast (keep in mind I am not referring to killing camel turkeys, only regular ones)! Quick updates: My family is insane (but that's okay since I am sure yours is too), I am currently writing my thesis, consumerism is running rampant, and most importantly I have returned for more blogging!
As I often look for the silver lining in most things I had some good news in my email inbox today. My friend Mark wrote to tell me that he and my other friend Todd have landed safely in Kuwait. Now, I know that them being in hostile territory is by no means a good thing, but I have decided to be thankful for every piece of information I get that tells me that they are okay.
Well anyways back to working...

Ok, well I don't know Where to even start with this one...

Five hunters gunned down in Wisconsin woods
Sheriff's deputies are investigating the killings of five hunters Sunday in northwest Wisconsin -- bloodshed apparently sparked by a dispute over a hunting spot. A suspect has been arrested.

"This is completely nuts," said Chief Deputy Tim Zeigle of the Sawyer County Sheriff's Department. "Why? I mean, five people dead because somebody was trespassing on property. It makes no sense."

I mean on one hand it did happen in Wisconsin, which opens it up to the "Red State" thing, as well as to the yankee thing.
On the other hand I deer hunt myself and have often thought about what it would be like to bag the most dangerous animal: Man...

When in Houston, TX never go out drinking with three boys from Dublin, or How I learned to love my toilet...

Well I have made my glorious return from Houston!! Alive, no less! I had a great trip, met some interesting people, found out that the irish can hold their liquor!

First, I would like to brag for a bit. I had to present data at a surgical society meeting which, for those of you who may not know surgeons, can be a bit taxing as they tend to have a bit of issue with those of us whom are not in the profession. Despite this I managed to wow the entire crowd with my talk. Several actually found me afterwards to congratulate me on a fine job! Which is where my new buddies from the emerald isle came in...

Friday night after the presentations the society that was hosting the conference arranged for drinks and food at the field where the Houston Astros play (Rock!). It was here that I met Jon, Will, and Mark. They were three nice lads from Ireland that had presented in the same room as myself, so we sat down and had a few...and then a few more. After this reception on of the fellows suggested we find a nice pub and sit down for a few more. Once this bar decided it was time to close Jon suggested we move up the street to another place that was open later. By this time I had downed a pint of hard cider as well as several pints of Guiness on top of several beers at the baseball stadium, which for those of you that know me, can already see this was a bad situation. At the new bar the lads continued to buy round after round, which migrated from beers to jack and cokes...It was after about four of these that I noticed that things were not ok. For one the waitress kept asking me if I was irish as well, strange question since I have a decent southern accent...This was followed by Jon's observational comment of "Good lord he's turned into a scotsman!" This was soon backed up by Will and Mark who insisted for some reason that I was speaking with a scottish accent as well as using slang...
I solved this problem by drinking more.
Finally, after the second bar closed its doors we decided that there had to be somewhere in Texas that would still serve, so out on the street we went...
It was at this point that an asian kid in a big ass SUV pulls up to a stoplight, I'm not sure what all was said but he then tells us to get in to his truck and he would give us a ride to another night club... I think at some point I muttered something about this being a bad idea adding that we may end up face down with ball gags in our mouths...or something of the such. At any rate we finally end up at said night spot, which even in my condition I could see wasn't a great place to be for various reasons, foremost it had beds along the walls...
Cut to 6 am on Saturday when this last place closed down...by this time things are starting to get really hairy, well the parts I remember anyways. These parts include being tossed out on the street, running from at least 1 very large, angry, homeless guy, jumping into another car with someone else after running from said homeless guy, and finally ending up in the hotel lounge with Jon and Will digging around behind the bar for more to drink...

Then it was Saturday...full of fun and nausea...well at least for a few hours as I finally regained conciousness at about 6 that evening...

Lesson: Even though Irish surgeons are cool to hang out with never ever EVER go round for round with them!

Slainte!

Blogging schedule

For all 3 of you that regularly read about my shenanigans I would like to say thanks for bearing with me over this past week of no blogging. I have been putting together presentations and posters for an upcoming meeting in Houston, TX. I will be leaving Wednesday and returning on Sunday, so I am guessing this will be the final entry until my return. Once I do get back expect a whole new season of madness as the true season of madness...err...Christmas descends upon us!!!

BTW Halo 2 release is less than 15 hrs away

yet again...

What is it with me? Am I cursed? I am cursed. That is all I can figure. I just met another young lady today...seemed nice talked for a while...then she tells me she sees dead people on top of being a magnet for the paranormal. She is also an amateur ghost hunter. Good Lord this makes 2 of these in the past 3 months. Add this to the witch and I am beginning to think I am a magnet myself.

Overheard in the lab this morning...

There are a lot of chinese grad students that mill around the hallway outside of my lab and office. Today I heard a disturbing conversation between one of them and their american lab tech.
It went something like this:

Grad student (GS): So is there anywhere here that people eat cat?
Lab tech (LT): I don't think so.
GS: Is it illegal to eat cat?
LT: No I think it is legal, just not popular. Besides cats are kinda small, not much meat on them.
GS: Hmm...Chinese also like rabbit. Do you like rabbit?
LT: I don't think I have tried it...

Brightened my day howabout yours?

Official Halloween Garb...

Well, unfortunately due to problems locating proper costume material I will be unable to recreate the much loved Lloyd Dobbler. As heartbroken as I am I know the ladies out there are even moreso (lets face it the ladies love Lloyd!!). Fortunately, after the first week of not being able to turn up the right style of trenchcoat nor white Nikes with the orange swoop I devised an alternative plan. This year for Halloween I will be...Drum roll please.....

The Star Wars Geek!!!

Yes, I will be the nerdy guy with thick glasses that is 25 and still lives in his parents basement playing Star Wars role playing games with my best friend since elementary school as well as the "lame" kids from the neighborhood. For a visual think Napoleon Dynamite dressed as a dark jedi! A 20th level dark jedi with force choke and force lightning ability!!! I mean, gah, don't be such an idiot of course as a dark jedi master I can use force choke and force lightning!! I will also have my trusty lightsaber with 2 different kinds of power crystals.

Frightening Non?

More Evidence of the Phipps Effect

Well this weekend was an interesting one to say the least...

I had a date on Sunday.
The date was with a witch.
A pushy witch.
Why God?

I have to say this was a new one for me. I have dated bitches, but never witches. Well until yesterday anyways. The really sad part to all of this is even though I really was terrified by this whole thing and really didnt want to see her again I think she blew me off.

needed to get this out

Normally for my blog I like to find some stupid little tidbit or piece of political drivel and harp on it in as humorous way as possible. Today though I just want to tell everyone about a friend of mine. He is a Sgt. in the National Guard 278th ACR, and will be shipping out for Iraq in a few short weeks. He is one of 3 of my friends that are either currently in training or are about to be deployed (I am not ommitting them, I plan to talk about both in the upcoming weeks). I have to admit the thought of not seeing my buddy for a year or more tears me up. I would give anything if I could change places with him so he could stay at home with his wife and daughter, but I suppose we all have out path set out for each of us in different directions. Anyway, I guess the point of this is to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you Mark (Todd and Christian as well), come home safe.

Oh yeah, remember winning hearts and minds isn't all that hard...It's getting their owners to hold still long enough to get them out that's the real bitch!!!

Being Anit-Bush Sparks Outrage!!!

From across the pond it seems those kooky brits are at it again...

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- A pro-Kerry letter-writing campaign by Britain's left-leaning Guardian newspaper, targeting undecided U.S. voters, has provoked outrage across the Atlantic.

The paper has encouraged its readers to express their opinions on the November 2 presidential election to voters in the key swing state of Ohio -- to the fury of Clark county.

The response from Americans?

"Hey England, Scotland and Wales, mind your own business. We don't need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidential election," was one of the e-mail reactions to the campaign.

Good show old man. Good show.

Why does the rest of the world think we are turning into a society of barely literate neandertals?

correct me if I'm wrong

So I was watching the news the other day, and one of the reporters was giving an account of the reaction from the Cheney family about the last debate. Lynne Cheney was having a hissy about the fact that Kerry had brought up the subject of her daugheter's sexuality. I believe she was upset that John Kerry had the audacity to pull her family into the political arena or something. Strange thing is I remember Dicky boy talking about how he and the president disagree on the gay marriage/civil rights thing because of his daughter's sexual preferences... Interesting...

I always knew it!!!

Ha Ha! I always knew I was being opressed by the man (just never really knew why). Finally today I have a new group that I can associate with, as reported on CNN.com.


Study: One in 100 adults asexual
LONDON, England (CNN) -- About one percent of adults have absolutely no interest in sex, according to a new study, and that distinction is becoming one of pride among many asexuals.

Thats right people, I am asexual. There I said it. I feel so relieved that its out there!!!

Wait...what the hell do they mean it has to be a disinterest in sex???? Damn.

Okay, I am part of another group who's day is coming: The unwilling asexuals!!!
Our chant shall be heard across the land: We're here, We'll buy your beer, okay maybe next time then.

O' Redux

My friend Chris Neal had this little jewel on his website today:

Fox News Channel traded accusations Wednesday with one of the producers of Bill O'Reilly's show, with the woman alleging that the commentator had phone sex with her against her wishes three times. Fox in a claim of its own dismissed the sexual harassment complaint as a politically motivated extortion attempt.

After reading the transcript of the lawsuit I had to get in on the action. I just want to say one thing, reading this was like watching a train wreck; you get kinda nauseas through most of it, but at the same time it is kinda funny...well in a sick perverted Bill O' Reilly has a vibrator in his bum kinda way...

sometimes I wonder...

Okay for the last little while I have been leaning more and more to the left, with the impending elections and all, which is why I think this bothers me so much...


LONDONDERRY, New Hampshire (AP) -- The school board has voted to ban a photo of a student from the senior section of his high school yearbook because he is posed with a shotgun.

If any of you care to look at the pic you will notice that it shows a kid in full trap and skeet shooting gear with a broken down shotgun on his shoulder. Now I could understand a problem with a picture of a kid holding up a liquor store with said shotgun...

Mother of all that is holy!!!

I couldn't resist throwing this one at ya...

NUDE BUSH!!!!

WASHINGTON - A cartoonish painting of President Bush (news - web sites) in the nude has been taken down from the wall at the City Museum of Washington. The picture, called "Man of Leisure, King George," adopts the pose of a famous Impressionist painting, Edouard Manet's "Olympia," that scandalized Paris in 1863, and now hangs in the Gare d'Orsay Museum in Paris.


The painting by local artist Kayti Didriksen, shows a caricature of Bush, reclining in the nude on a chaise lounge, his head propped up by pillows.
Instead of the female servant who stands behind Olympia's couch, a man in suit and tie resembling Vice President Dick Cheney (news - web sites) stands nearby, holding a cushion with a crown and a miniature oil rig on top of it.

After seeing this...I...will never...be the same...